Spring Renewal

Spring is headed our way, (or winter, for those of you in the Southern Hemisphere), a time of change and renewal. For us in the north, the arrival of spring marks for many the end of a time of introspection and quiet. For me, this winter was different than past ones. For the first time, I am releasing an album in the spring rather than the fall. Finalizing an album in the midst of winter was an interesting experience. Winter usually finds me in the middle, rather than at the end, of an album process. I embraced that change with all the impetus of a Pisces, the mutable sign I was born under. As a friend recently pointed out, how interesting that this album is being released in spring, since it is based on a rose and all about renewal and discovering one's true heart. Flowers, spring and love seem to all work so well together.

In the coming months I will be sharing thoughts about my inspiration behind this album which is based on an ancient Asian tale about a princess who is faced with the prospect of a marriage she does not want. She devises a cunning plan to ensure no suitor will present himself, convincing her father that she will accept only the man who produces a blue rose - a flower that does not exist in nature.  But our princess did not anticipate the power of true love. Ultimately, the scheme which she believed would set her free provides the setting for her heart's fulfillment.

I was attracted to the theme of this story because it reminded me so much of how much we can limit ourselves and be blinded to our heart's true desire. We often seem so good at convincing ourselves of our own limitations and as a result we do not so easily release the things that hold us back on our life's journey. With each new project that I undertake, I fight with all the self-imposed limitations that come crowding in and I have to guide myself through a maze to eventually come through at the end. But I understand the value of this process - only through facing these limitations and coming to terms with them can I truly learn something new about myself. At the end of each journey, I often find myself asking "How do I pull this off"?  Yet I manage to do it every time, but not without much trepidation. I think what really helps me is an understanding that I am here, in this life to learn and I stay open to that.

The Blue Rose has taken me in a whole new direction, both professionally and personally. A very peaceful feeling took me over while I worked - one I can only describe as  Zen-like.  From the beginning I realized this was no Northern Seas.  But I followed where the music led and the journey was educational and fulfilling. I hope that this new album brings similar feelings to others and that it may provide an interesting journey for you as well.

Year's End

As another year comes to an end, many of us like to take stock of what the year has brought our way. Many things we like to keep, others discard. It is a time for new resolutions and commitments. For me, this year has brought much accomplishment, above all, the completion of my new album, The Blue Rose. Since an album takes up my entire creative focus for the duration of the work, I feel a sense of freedom when the work wraps up. At some point, it feels good to move on. It might be my Pisces nature, with its frequent ebb and flow of emotional tides, which requires me to keep moving forward.  When I finish up a big project, I tend to look back at the process and compare my new achievement with those past. The primary questions then become: "How does this album compare to my last one?"; "Do I feel I have grown as an artist?"; "Am I repeating myself with this work?"

As with each of my projects, I like to feel that a new album is different from my previous one, yet not so different that those who like my work would find it too great a departure. I feel that while this new album differs from Northern Seas, my previous project, not only because it examines a completely different world culture, but also because it has a completely different energy. I like to say my album Scheherazade was infused with a more feminine energy, while Northern Seas, with a more masculine one. I believe that The Blue Rose has returned in some ways to the energy expressed in Scheherazade, yet is different in feeling and emotion. The album Scheherazade, which revolved around the teller of the 1001 Arabian Nights tales, was infused with the energy of hope, while The Blue Rose is permeated by love and the attaining of the impossible.  

I have already started working on a new project, which will again take me in somewhat of a different direction.  But for now, I want to take a moment to thank everyone who has supported me and my music this past year and I look forward to the year ahead.  May it be filled with music and peace for all of us!

New Album Release Delay

The news of my upcoming album's release delay is out.   The decision to slightly delay the release of my upcoming album was made after many discussions with my team, friends and family.


This last year has been extremely busy, with some expected and unexpected life events. My album, Northern Seas, took on a life of its own - the Grammy® season was a surreal experience in many ways for me - an introvert called upon to be photographed and interviewed. I was so often reminded by family and friends back in Argentina of the journey that has brought me to this point in my life.

But more important than anything, my family faced a health crisis. I have spoken a little bit about this in the past with some reluctance. Last year, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. This was barely two years after a bout of lung cancer - this from a woman who exercises, takes vitamins, eats a very healthy diet and has rarely ever been sick. People often are shocked to find out she is in her early seventies because she is so youthful in both looks and action. But this crisis affected me deeply. My father and I walked this journey with my mother and were by her side without fail. We benefited tremendously from the support of friends and family in the U.S. and abroad, notably my sister who is an oncologist in the mid-west of the U.S. and a dear friend who is a nurse practitioner here in Vermont.

Still, postponing my album's release was not an easy decision to make because I try to hold myself up to a high standard.  People often ask me when a new album is coming out, letting me know they are anxiously awaiting its release.   Because of this, it was hard for me not meeting my deadline of releasing the album in late 2012, as planned.


Ultimately, I am at peace with my decision, which interestingly enough, increased my creative output.  Perhaps the universe intended it this way all along. Fall has always been a very creative time for me and also, as reflected in the red and gold landscape around us in Vermont, a time that underscores the constant changes in life. I embrace this journey wholeheartedly and am grateful for the many life lessons this past year has brought. But I am most grateful that my mother is now almost fully recovered and, yes, cancer-free.

The album is coming along very nicely, and is on schedule -- the new schedule, that is!  We will soon share more about it, including exclusive previews of some of the music for newsletter subscribers.

Something to be glad about

Positive thinking seminars and lectures have been around for years.  The power of positive thinking is a fundamental concept in the New Age philosophy.  Does it work?  Does it truly effect changes in one's life?  Yes, it does.  Is it easy to do?  Not always.  Life happens, and sometimes we're dealt hard blows.  Those times are probably when it is most important to find something positive to hold on to.

While many experts lead seminars and make quite a bit of money at it, the concept of positive thinking is nothing new.  Back in 1912, a writer by the name Eleanor Porter wrote a beloved classic book called 'Pollyanna.'   In this book, young Pollyanna, the main character, is motherless and lives with her father, who is a minister.  As they are of relatively low means, Pollyanna's clothing and toys come from charity barrels arranged by the Ladies Aid Society.  One Christmas, she hoped and prayed for a doll, but instead, ended up with crutches.  She was tremendously disappointed.  Her father, in his wisdom, pointed out that she could still find something to be 'glad' about.  What could she possibly be glad about, thought Pollyanna?  Her father replied: "You can be glad that although you received crutches, you do not need to use them!"   After this event, Pollyanna created what she called 'The Glad Game,' which she used every time something negative would happen, to find something positive in every situation.  Not much different than the 'the glass is either half empty or half full' theory.  Shortly after, Pollyanna's father passes away and she is taken in by her aunt Polly in Vermont (coincidentally, where I live).   While her aunt is not really interested in having a child underfoot and is also quite stern, Pollyanna eventually wins her and the entire town over with her gladness and positive thinking. 

Later in the story (spoiler alert!), Pollyanna is hit by a car and is paralyzed.  I imagine that finding something to be glad about at that point was probably not an easy task.  And for a while, even Pollyanna cannot find something to be glad about. But soon enough, she finds something to be glad about and her world is again filled with happiness.  I'd say she is not just glad, but pretty darn resilient!   Sure, you may say Pollyanna is fiction, however, many real people in everyday situations work positive thinking into their lives in the same way as Pollyanna did.  If you have never done it, it can be an amazing feeling. I am a true believer that we should not wait until we are hit with something hard to realize the good we actually have in our lives.

The key is, every day, to find three things to be glad about.  Whatever they may be.  Today, as most of the USA is in the throes of massive heat waves, I am extremely glad that 1) I have electric power, 2) It is relatively bearable in Vermont and 3) It is actually a beautiful day.  I could find many more things to be glad about, the main being that my mother has won her fight against breast cancer, chemotherapy and radiation, and her hair is growing back, thicker and fuller then before (go mom!). I have no doubt that my mom’s incredibly positive life outlook was instrumental in her pulling through this life-threatening illness.

I like to write in a journal and jot down the things I am glad about for the day, when the day is almost over.  I always have had difficulty writing in a journal (maybe this is why I ended up a musician, not a writer!), but just writing simple things down is easy to do for me and for most people.  Going back and rereading these later makes me glad all over again!  But what I have found (and this is a theory that is not mine, I am sorry to say, but proven through scientific study), is that my overall outlook on life has shifted and that I not only see things in a more positive way, but I am also able to deal with negativity in a much better way. In fact, studies on happiness have shown that people who engage in this daily exercise for a month start having a more overall positive outlook on life and that we may actually be rewiring our brains in the process.

In this day and age, sadly, the term 'Pollyannish' has acquired negative connotations.  You hear people who want to be optimistic about something saying, "I don't want to be Pollyannish about this but…"  My question is, why not?  I mean, the story of Pollyanna struck such a nerve with people since its release back in 1912, has been made into films and the Japanese have even made a 51 episode animated series about it!  Anything that can give us hope, lift our spirits and makes us glad to be alive should indeed be a box office hit!  If you decide to try it, stick with it for a month.  Make it into a routine and see what happens.  Then come back and let me (and everyone else) know how it went.  In fact you can even post your success story briefly on my Facebook page!

"The Little Voice that says: "You Can't"

Recently, I was talking to a friend who was afraid to take a leap and do something in which he actually possesses great talent. "I am not good enough," he said. Never mind that not only he IS good enough at what he does and has more proof about it than he knows what to do with. People always praise his abilities and he rose through his career because he IS very good. Since I was an actor for much of my life, I said to him something that came naturally to me: "You have stage fright, and it has nothing to do with a lack of skill." Many accomplished actors such as Laurence Olivier were known for throwing up before going on-stage. Meryl Streep admits she has "varying degrees of confidence and self-loathing," because she never felt she was good enough. Yet she is known as one of the most talented performers of our time.

The fear of not being good enough does not apply only to artists, but to many people. Self doubt is not uncommon. It is how we surpass that self imposed limitation that is important.

As our conversation progressed, I told my friend: "It is OK to have doubt, sometimes it makes you stronger and better at what you do. What is not OK is if that self doubt paralyzes you and prevents you from moving forward." "Easy for you to say", said my friend, "you have a Grammy nomination." Case in point. I was not always Grammy nominated. I had to get through a lot of self doubt to get there, and even before the nominations were handed out, I did not think I could possibly make it. However, what was important to me was not that I got a nomination, but that I TRIED. Many artists never submit a project for fear of rejection. There are many books or albums that are never finished, all because a talented person feared rejection, so that person found a way to never finish. I have been releasing albums for several years now, and as any artist will tell you, you bare your soul with your work, so it is total exposure. And because people in the media and entertainment industry rarely talk about their fears or lack of self-esteem, no one really believes that artists or performers lack self confidence because what we see as the audience is “the performance”. I know several artists, some who have been in the acting and music business even for a good 40 years that still, at times, feel inadequate.

So when someone asks "How did you do it? How do you deal with lack of self confidence?" My reply is, "I do not listen to my little inner saboteur too much." I believe that a certain amount of self doubt can keep you learning and growing as an artist. But as I said before, it is no longer good if that self doubt holds you back to the point of inactivity. The main thing is to try and step outside yourself. To try to see what others see. How do people react to you? What do they tell you about your abilities? What do the people you really trust tell you?

It is important to take stock of our talents. I was born an artist and when I tried to get away from that, I failed miserably. I came back to the arts and decided to stick it out long term. I left acting for music, but I feel as comfortable in my skin with my music as I did with my acting. Could I be an accountant or work in a bank? I tried that and other things when I listened to the saboteur a little too much…. But I learned to respect and honor who I am and the talents that I have been given. Leave accounting to those who are skilled at math! Do what you love and what you do best.

Another common self-sabotage is to say "I am too old to do this now. I can’t change" You might want to give that another try, because people like Grandma Moses or Laura Ingalls Wilder did not start their careers until later in life. Wilder begun writing her "Little House" book series in her 60's and Grandma Moses was nearly 80 (and she lived to 101)! As we all live longer, we are seeing more and more people change careers multiple times in their lives – futurists predict that college students graduating today may have 4-5 different careers in their lifetime!

The bottom line is to discover something you love and then figure out how to make a career of it. It may not end up paying, it may not be life altering, or, it just may be. If you put your passion and energy into it and don’t listen too much to the self doubt, who knows what you are capable of doing!

My conversation with my friend ended with, "Don’t listen to that little voice that says: YOU CAN’T. Spend your energy on figuring out how you CAN. And just start with a little step, that may be all it takes."

The Sound of Silence

The breeze is mild, barely a tree branch moving in its caress. Birds come to the feeders surely knowing spring is headed our way in another month. The house is quiet and, right now, I am liking it that way. Just the tic-tock sound of a clock on the mantle lightly interrupts the silence. This is all an enormous contrast from what my life was like just a few weeks ago in California during the GRAMMY® events. The nominee medallion sitting near the clock is a reminder that things were not so quiet then…

As an actor in my “previous life,” I learned to be sociable and act the part. As I’ve shared before, I am first and foremost an introvert, which is not a common personality trait in our society. Introverts, as a rule, like to be left alone much of the time because for them, being around people requires an extraordinary expenditure of energy. It is not that introverts do not like people. At least, speaking for myself, I can say I do. However, we require much alone time to recharge our batteries. As a child, people did not understand this of me, particularly as I grew up partly in Argentina, a society not known for introversion. And since I am of Italian descent, another very extroverted society, I heard this often from my grandmother: “You need to be more sociable!”

Wars ensued between my elders and I when I was forced to be sociable. I was the model of the perfect child when I was left alone with my records, toys and Piscean fantasies. However, when I was dragged out to be sociable, it was not a pretty event. Birthday parties were my terror. When one approached, my mother had to bribe me to go. Then, after she dropped me off (and while the rest of the kids were running around loudly after a soccer ball), I started buttering up the child’s mother to eventually call mine to come get me, usually using excuses such as “I am wearing new shoes and they hurt.” I always felt relieved to return home, my comic books eagerly waiting for me in the peace and quiet of my room. Heaven!

I am afraid that, as an adult, I have not changed much. However, because my work is public and demands a certain amount of human contact (sometimes in the extreme as with the GRAMMY events),

I cannot get out of things by saying I do not feel well or that my new shoes hurt or, as was truly the case, “my tuxedo shirt collar is strangling me.” Life and introversion have taught me to surround myself with a team of people who have become like a family, so they know how I function and work with me accordingly.

By the time the GRAMMY telecast actually happened, I was so burnt out I have no recollection of putting my tuxedo shirt’s studs on. In fact, it may have been someone in my team who did it for me because I think I had checked out by then! Not to mention that at the actual telecast, I was literally surrounded by 20,000 people, extremely loud music, and had already survived several red carpets, pre-telecast, nominee receptions and other events. At some point I remember thinking how comfortable and quiet my keyboards and other equipment were in my studio in Vermont, and how badly I wanted to return to the beautiful world I’d begun creating for my next album

Because we were seated in the area near the stage during the telecast, I felt safety in numbers surrounded by other artists of many kinds such as musicians, actors and such. We are all a little bit out there in our own ways. Yet, at some point during the show’s commercial break my manager Kevin, seated by me, said only 55 minutes had gone by and we still had another two and a half hours to go. I considered my childhood excuse of my new shoes hurting, but decided against it.

The day after the awards I made my escape to Pasadena, near Los Angeles. A suburb that is homey and a lot like some of the towns in Vermont. Pasadena is well known as the backdrop of many television series from the ‘70s and even of today. I started feeling some calm coming back into my life. I still had meetings and other business in California, but I could now hear myself think, and this was a wonderful thing indeed. I was also able to regroup with many of my artist friends who had also survived the GRAMMY pandemonium. We artists tend to be quirky and I am sure many of my artist friends have used their own shoe excuses as children, so I was in good company! I also looked forward to spending some more rest and relaxation time with my publicist, who is very much a part of my team and like family. Many artists tend to work with people half-way across the country or world, and rarely have a chance to actually spend time together as we would like. When we can, it is a blessing.

The tic-tock of the clock now brings me back to the now, where peace reigns at home and memories of a hectic time are just that. Clouds are covering the sun, which was out when I began to write this, but they are doing so ever so quietly. They are certainly my kind of clouds.

Bliss In Unlikely Places

Composers within the New Age music genre usually strive to offer people a soothing environment to 'get away to' during the listening experience. We tend to craft albums that create an environment of peace, magic and otherworldliness. In my case, I cannot say that all of my work is soothing – after all, a song like Valkyrja, from my latest album Northern Seas, is not one I would consider exactly soothing – perhaps energizing might be a better word. Still, I work to create an experience from beginning to end of an album, almost as if it was a film. This song, however, offers a great example of what I am pondering at the moment: bliss in unlikely places.

We tend to think of a blissful moment as something like walking through a beautiful forest, hiking up a mountain trail or sitting by the ocean before an awe-inspiring sunset. I venture to say you may have envisioned such blissful moments simply by reading what I just wrote about these enchanting experiences. However, if I said, "walking down the streets of Manhattan" you would likely have a different vision: one of hustle and bustle, sirens, horns, people moving in every which way. But I can say I have found bliss in just such a place.

A few years ago, during my life as an actor, I used to go to New York's island of Manhattan quite a bit for work. As I lived (and still do) in Vermont, when in New York, I'd prefer to stay outside the city with friends and take the train in, the Hudson line, along the river. This one particular day, I was headed into the city for a few auditions my manager had set up. After the usual preparation, I headed for the station, boarded the train, and sat reading a book. I think, if I remember correctly, it was Dancing in the Light by Shirley MacLaine. I have always liked biographies about actors, and books about quests to find spirituality, and MacLaine offered both in one. Since I am an introvert, I rarely strike up a conversation unless spoken to first. I tend to keep to myself. This time, however, the man sitting next to me commented on my book and we proceeded to have a fascinating conversation about a book he had just published. He was going into the city for a signing. I find that in New York City, artists of every kind tend to attract each other – some kind of radar! I knew then that this was going to be a different sort of day for me. His excitement and energy were wonderful and remained with me throughout the day.

After arriving at Grand Central, I hailed a taxi and headed to the first audition. After surviving a day of auditions, I met up with some friends to have dinner. I was feeling particularly upbeat, the day having gone well. After dinner, and long goodbyes, I decided to walk the twenty or so blocks south to Grand Central, as it was an unseasonably warm January evening. It was the middle of the week and at this time of the night there were far fewer people on the streets than earlier in the day.

I suddenly found myself as if alone in the city. I could feel a vibrant charge coming from all around and flowing right through me. The lights, the relative calm, the buildings reaching almost endlessly upwards into the grey wintry sky. I was filled by an enormous and unexpected sense of peace and happiness. I was the city and the city was me. I had never experienced something like this before in a large city, even though most of my formative years were spent in urban centers. I could have very well been walking in the middle of a peaceful forest. I think I must have floated all the way back to Grand Central Terminal. Once back in the train, the energy still remained with me. It was a memorable, blissful experience right in the middle of one of the largest most vibrant cities in the world. I still remember that evening so very well after all these years. Bliss in an unexpected place.